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[June 12, 2018 – 10:14 AM] I’m scared sh*tless right now! I engaged in oral sex without a condom and vaginal sex with a condom four months ago from the time I’m writing this page. This is only my second sexual partner and I’m 25 years old. It was not a random hookup either. I was dating the person at the time.

Unfortunately, some weird things have been happening to my body ever since. I talked to my partner and they said they had been tested shortly before we engaged in sex and that they were clean. However, I don’t know if they had an oral test or just a genital test, so I still could have contracted an STI from them. If they had a genital test but had gonorrhea in their throat, the test would come back negative. So right now I’m just scared and not sure if I have caught an STD or not.

I ordered some STI tests online just yesterday. They’re supposed to test for chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis. I think I should test for trichomoniasis too but want to do these tests first. I haven’t received a shipping notification yet, so I don’t know when they’re going to arrive. Ever since I started looking into my symptoms more seriously, it’s been really hard to focus at work. I’ve been kind of freaking out.

I don’t know anyone who has admitted to having caught an STD so this whole experience is new to me. I had to turn to the internet for advice. After not being able to easily find information, I decided to make my own website about STIs and share my experience and emotions. I’m crossing my fingers that my symptoms are from stress or not drinking enough water but I’m not sure. The last few months have been stressful so it could be that. Either way, I promise that I will share my results, positive or negative.

All I know that is if certain STDs go untreated long enough that they can make you sterile. I’ve always wanted to have kids and think about my future kids all of the time. It’s the reason why I work so hard. The thought of not being able to have kids is really what’s freaking me out, not the STI itself. My symptoms seem to match chlamydia and gonorrhea symptoms, which both can make you infertile. I want to scream!